death and taxes

“Nothing is certain but death and taxes.”

and good ol’ stupidity.

ran into some issues with taxes recently, so basically i owe some 7,000 buckaroos in taxes, which in the span of two weeks somehow inflated into 15,000, then dropping back to 7,000 like the stock market.

the tax is meant to be 5%, which means i’m supposed to have made 140,000 within the first half of the year or so. well. they tell me Big Brother isn’t watching, but that’s way-too-coincidentally the transaction amount of one of my bank accounts over the many years i’ve had it on.

for the particular taxation of 7,000 shenanigans, the beautiful thing is that i’ve not even made the amount of money they are charging me for, let alone be liable to be charged that much. and that’s before all the late penalties.
after a few days of distress and a sick day filling in forms, i’ve decided to just let them send me my red bills and stuff and ignore all court summons until the men in black come knocking on my door. i went for my trip, came back, more ignored hullabaloos and i set a timeframe.

today, if i should reach home and they have not sent me a reply, i will send them a reply from somewhere higher up the rungs, rolls and reams of red tape.

and then a call.

while it is overall a relief, it was also kind of an experience you can develop a few healthy kidney stones with. here’s a rough transcript:

Me: “They don’t allow me to deregister.”
Tax: “Why?”
Me: “Because there is some (dumb) policy that once I’m in, I have to be in for at least 2 years before I can opt out.”
Tax: “Okay, all you have to do is just to file in zero returns every three months.”
Me: “Tell you what, to save the hassle, I will just close down the company account.”
Tax: “No you don’t need to do that. It’s useless.”
Me: (incredulous) “What? Why?”
Tax: “Because you’ll still have to file zero returns.”
Me: “…”

Enter tumbleweed. Exit tumbleweed with cobwebs.

Me: “You mean to tell me that I have to file in zero returns every three months for a NON-EXISTING COMPANY?”
Tax: “Yes. You see, it’s…”
Me: “No I don’t see. Frankly, it’s just plain dumb! How can a closed down company officially earn money or charge taxes to begin with?”
Tax: “I’m afraid you’ll still have to do it. It’s written clearly (in point 6 font or smaller) in the blah-blah form when you first signed in etc etc… I’m just trying to explain to you the blah blah blah.“
Me: “No matter how you explain it, it doesn’t make it any less dumb. I appreciate your help, and will put up with the procedure. Thanks anyway.”

the lady on the other line is doing her job, i’ve got nothing against her (other than that she’s a cog in the machine), and she’s helping me out here. what is rather unsettling is that they apparently have well structured and documented procedures to advance dumbhood, exponentially increase the job market for redundant paperworkers, and effectively channel a sizable share of the nation’s income to shrinks.